Love is a truly complicated thing that most mankind still can’t quite grasp. There are so many quotes and different sayings which people use to describe love, but is there anything that really explains what it is?
No matter how much a couple loves one another, they’ll still be separated inevitably — Be it a break up or death. So, why do we still believe in something so intangible, when both parties are going to get torn apart eventually?
Some people choose to remain single out of free will even though they want to be in a relationship one day. This is not because no one wants to be with them, but because they’re afraid to fall in love. The thought of committing to someone else for the rest of your life, and giving them the power to hurt you, really send shivers down the spine.
Commitment doesn’t mean you have to lose your freedom and independence.
Some people love the idea of long-term relationships, while some, not at all. One of the biggest fears the latter type of individuals has towards commitment is being afraid of losing their freedom and independence over time. They’re scared to grow accustomed with the routine of the relationship, and eventually develop into over-reliance on the other party.
However, the thing to realise is that you do not have to fully compensate freedom and your own independence for commitment. The best way to truly become independent is when you continue being self-reliant, even when you’re in a relationship. You don’t need to be with the person, but you want to be with the person.
Not everyone needs the same level of “me-time”, some simply wants their other half around them all the time; which most freedom-lovers might label those people as “clingy”. Find someone who wants and needs the same level of freedom as you, and you’ll be in a committed and independent relationship.
This Buzzfeed video basically explains it all:
Accept the fact that your first relationship will probably shatter your heart.
The reason why philophobias are afraid of love is due to the fear of facing a heartbreak. As cliché as it sound, I have to say this: People grow from a heartbreak. Do not expect that first relationship to be the one, because it’ll probably not.
The first heartbreak will always be the hardest to get over, and you’ll be telling yourself to not be so naïve or vulnerable the next time. However, know that in time, all the emotions of a broken heart will just become a big blurry mess. Here’s another cliché saying: time heals all wounds. You just need this deadly fall once, and next time, you’ll be there to catch yourself.
No relationship is perfect.
With social media like Instagram surrounding our daily life, it’s not easy to remember that those #RelationshipGoals are virtual. Do you really think a relationship can be all sunshine and rainbows? No one wants to broadcast the darker side of their relationship.
Understand that no relationship is flawless, and that those social media couples are just showcasing and creating an ideal belief to make their life seem superb. Thus, shaping our “goals” that we unknowingly are aiming for.
The next time you meet someone with the potential, go for it! It’s not easy; trust me, I know. However, you just need this leap of faith. Forget what your friends said about their own relationship, and take their advices with a grain of salt. Go through it yourself, and you’ll eventually know for yourself. The most important thing is, don’t be afraid to pick up the broken pieces of your heart.
Featured Image: source